Yeah, I said it. And I know I’m going to catch heat for it—bring it on.
I already know people are going to read that headline and clutch their pearls, but let’s be real for a second. If you think parenting is easy, you’re either lying to yourself, ignoring your responsibilities, or you’ve outsourced your parenting to a screen. I don’t say this to be mean—I say it because I care deeply about what our kids are being raised to believe is “normal,” and I’m not here to sugarcoat anything. I care about our kids’ future, and I care about how it’s going to affect ours.
I’m a full-time working mom. Oh, and that “full-time” is spent in the military. I’m also working my own small business. I wake up before the sun, run on fumes and caffeine, and somehow still manage to raise a toddler and care for a newborn (okay he’s seven months old now but he still FEELS like a newborn.)
When we brought our second baby home, I didn’t suddenly shove a tablet in my daughter’s face to make life easier. Her screen time didn’t increase. In fact, it stayed incredibly limited—because that’s how we’ve chosen to parent, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
And I get it. It is hard. Parenting today is exhausting and overwhelming. But doable is not the same as easy. Just because something’s hard doesn’t mean we get to give up or opt out with shortcuts that will have long-term effects on our kids. Screens are the easy way out—and we’re paying the price for that “ease.”
Let’s Talk About the Phones
If your 2-year-old and 4-year-old are fighting over your cell phone in the grocery store line, I’ll say it again: you’re a bad parent. Let that sting if it needs to. Kids aren’t born addicted to screens—we hand them electronics and form the addiction for them, and then act surprised when they crave it. We’re teaching them that attention and stimulation need to come from a device, not from people, not from imagination, not from the real world.
And yes, I know all the “but you don’t understand” arguments. Trust me—I do. I have diaper blowouts and toddler tantrums happening while I’m trying to get dinner on the table too. I’ve survived sleepless nights and 4 a.m. wake-up’s to get to work. I’ve spent countless 8+ hour roadtrips with my kids (hello Norfolk to Kansas City,) but I made the decision that my hard will not be my child’s burden. Screens aren’t babysitters—they’re developing brains being shaped by flashing lights and mindless content.
Get Off Your Own Phone
Let’s have a real moment: we have to get off our own damn phones. I know—you’re reading this on your phone. So am I while writing it. I’m just as guilty as the next parent. But I recognize it. And I’m trying. Because if I’m glued to a screen all day, what do I expect my toddler to want to do?
They’re watching us. They learn by copying us. If our faces are always lit up by a glowing screen, they’ll think that’s where life happens. And y’all—it’s not. Life is happening right in front of us. Let’s not miss it.
What the Research Says (And Yes, I’ve Actually Done the Research)
Look, I’m not a doctor. I’m not a child psychologist. I’m not even close. But I’m also not just shouting into the void without doing my homework. I’ve spent time reading actual studies and doing research projects on this topic—not influencer blog posts, not mommy Facebook groups—real research, and it’s horrifying how bad screen time can be for our kids…and for us.
• A study published in JAMA Pediatrics followed over 7,000 kids and found that toddlers who had more than 4 hours of screen time daily at just 1 year old were already showing communication and problem-solving delays by ages 2 and 4.
• A 2019 study literally scanned kids’ brains and found that excessive screen time shrinks white matter in parts of the brain that are responsible for language and literacy development. Like, it’s changing their brain structure.
• Another JAMA study followed teens and found that the more screen time they had, the more likely they were to show depressive symptoms, especially when it came to social media and TV time.
• Oh, and it messes with sleep too. Like, a lot. One study found that even one hour of screen use before bed can increase your risk of insomnia by 59% and mess with REM cycles.
• Possibly the scariest one? A U.S. study on kids ages 9–11 found that each additional hour of daily screen time was associated with a 9% higher risk of suicidal thoughts or behaviors two years later. Let that sink in.
This isn’t just “screens are kinda bad.” This is real damage—developmentally, mentally, emotionally. It’s not just bad for kids. It’s bad for us. Adults who constantly scroll are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, poor sleep, and relationship issues. We’re lonelier than ever, overstimulated, and overwhelmed—and we keep wondering why.
There Are Better Options
Now, let me be clear: if you do use screen time, I’m not saying you’re a lost cause. I’m saying it’s never too late to course-correct.
There are high-quality, educational, and interactive options out there if you feel like you need to use a screen as a break. I know, because I do it. I’m not saying ZERO screen time is the answer. But time limits are imperative and you MUST commit yourself to only providing your kids with something beneficial for them.
Ms. Rachel is great. Go Danny Go! is fun and gets kids moving. There are even toddler “workouts” you can do with your little one that make screen time active instead of passive. Just don’t confuse 4 straight hours of Cocomelon with positive stimulation. (p.s. I’ve read that it’s like cocaine for kids.)
And let’s not forget the most underrated option of all: outside. Dirt doesn’t require a Wi-Fi signal.
Parenting Is Supposed to Be Hard
We weren’t meant to parent perfectly. But we were meant to be present. And do our best. That’s what our kids need most. Not another app. Not a new subscription. Us.
So yeah, if parenting feels “easy,” maybe it’s time to take a good hard look at what’s making it feel that way. Is it convenience? Is it distraction? Or is it true connection?
I know this post might piss some people off. That’s okay. I’m not here for popularity—I’m here for accountability. For myself and for every parent trying to raise strong, emotionally healthy kids in a world that makes it really easy not to.
So if you’ve handed your kid the phone a few too many times lately, take a breath. Don’t spiral. Just do better next time. Because you can.
It’s Not Just the Screens—Parenting Is Hard Because Kids Are Hard
Let’s be honest: parenting isn’t hard just because of screen time. It’s hard because kids aren’t easy. Even the most well-behaved, gentle, emotionally-regulated child will still push every single one of your buttons at some point. Because that’s what they’re wired to do—they’re learning, they’re testing limits, they’re expressing emotions they don’t even have the words for yet. And sometimes that looks like throwing themselves on the floor in Target because the wrong song came on. Or screaming like they’ve been stabbed because you cut their toast the wrong way.
Tantrums aren’t easy. The constant why? why? why? isn’t easy. The tears that come out of nowhere, the emotional rollercoaster of a child who wants independence but still needs to be carried through the parking lot—it’s all hard. And then there’s bedtime. The 47 requests for water, the stuffed animal you forgot to grab, the “I need to tell you something” that magically appears five seconds after you finally sit down. There’s nothing that tests your patience quite like your kid getting out of bed for the 1000th time at 10 p.m. when you’re already running on fumes.
And don’t even get me started on how hard it is to maintain a marriage through all of this. Parenting doesn’t just stretch you as a mom—it stretches your partnership, too. Communication becomes more complex. Intimacy gets put on the back burner. You’re both tired, both stressed, both trying to navigate this chaos in your own ways—and sometimes that means you’re not even on the same page. Balancing the emotional needs of your kids and your spouse while trying to keep the household running is like juggling knives on a tightrope with your eyes closed. It’s a full-time job… on top of the actual full-time job.
So when I say parenting isn’t easy, I’m not just talking about screen time. I’m talking about the daily grind. The mental load. The guilt. The sacrifice. The showing up every single day when you feel like you have nothing left to give. Raising decent, kind, emotionally healthy humans takes everything you’ve got—and then some. But you do it anyway. Because that’s what we do. Not because it’s easy, but because it matters.
It won’t be easy—but that’s the point.
Parenting isn’t easy. It’s worth it.
Pumps & Panic 